Dealing with sibling dynamics is not always an easy thing. This holds true when your children are young and prone to frequent bickering, and also, when they’re older and may still be prone to bickering, albeit on a less frequent basis.
Even when children grow up and have families of their own, sibling rivalry can rear its ugly head. And when people are grieving, it can be hard to have rational conversations without having things get heated.
If you have an inheritance to split among your children, it’s important to do so in a manner that won’t cause issues for them or sour their relationship after you’re gone. Remember, you can run interference all you want while you’re still around to make sure your children are getting along. But once you’re no longer around, you won’t be around to mediate sibling arguments. And in the context of an inheritance, unfortunately, a lot of arguments can arise.
With that in mind, here are three big mistakes you should try to avoid when you’re splitting assets among your children.
1. Failing to give an explanation if you’re not splitting things evenly
There’s no rule stating that you have to split your assets evenly among your children, and that may not be something you wish to do. If you have three grown kids, but one of them has been extremely helpful to you through the years while the others have not lifted a finger, then you may want that child to inherit a larger portion of your estate. If that’s the case, though, then it’s important to have that discussion out in the open. If you don’t, a number of negative consequences could ensue.
First, your two other children might resent the third child who gets to inherit more. Secondly, your two other children might opt to contest your will if they think something shady is going on. That could prolong the probate process and make it take even longer for any of your heirs to get their hands on the assets you’ve earmarked for them.
Rather than let things get to that point, sit your children down and explain your wishes. Give a reason as to why you’re choosing not to split things evenly so there’s no confusion. You may also want to put a detailed explanation in writing and have someone witness it in case your will ends up getting contested regardless of having that talk.
2. Not asking your children what assets they wish to inherit
You may decide that one of your children will inherit your sports car, another will inherit your collection of family jewelry, and a third will inherit your artwork. But what if the child who you wish to pass the car along to doesn’t have where to store it? And what if another child of yours doesn’t share your taste in art and therefore does not want your painting and sculpture collection? Or, it could be that while one child of yours doesn’t care about your jewelry, another really wants it.
It’s important to have conversations with your children so that you’re able to set them up with an inheritance they’ll each be happy with. Your children may also tell you that they’d prefer to pool all of your assets together and split them based on their market value at the time of your death. It’s worth discussing these things, especially if there are certain family heirlooms you want your children to hang onto and not sell for cash.
3. Not making it easy for your children to access your will
It’s important to document your final wishes in your will so that there’s no confusion once you’re no longer around. But one thing you don’t want to do is send your children on a wild goose chase after you’re gone to hunt that will down.
A recent LegalShield survey found that 37% of grown children did not know where to find a parent’s will. If you don’t wish to share the contents of your will with your children while you’re still alive, then at the very least, make sure they know with certainty where they can find an updated date copy.
And if you’re going to store your will in a safe deposit box at a bank, make certain your children will be able to get access to that account once you’re no longer around. It won’t help your children to know where your will is if they won’t be allowed to access it.
At Krueger Hernandez & Thompson SC, we understand how family dynamics can impact estate planning decisions. We can help you create an estate plan that meets the needs of your family and gives you the peace of mind you deserve. Contact us today or call us at (608) 824-9540 to discuss all of your estate planning needs.
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